Can you image if every couple maintained the closeness and intimacy they felt when they began dating and first married, then divorce might disappear!! - What can you do to preserves the closeness in your relationship?
- If you feel as if the closeness is already gone, what can you do to get it back?
Remember when you first began dating
your partner.
- What were you attracted to in this person? Do you even remember?
- Do you still find these things attractive today? If not, why not?
Preserving or resurrecting closeness/intimacy in a relationship takes work. Although love comes easily, it will take more effort to keep it going.
There is a common thread with the older couples who shared several decades of a successful and happy marriage together.
What is it? Respect they feel for one another; many also refer to each other as his or her best friend.
Here lies the key.
Once the initial infatuation/love fades, there needs to be a foundation for a deep, lasting relationship. Couples may still experience those butterflies but only occasionally. The reason? This person has become almost as familiar to them as their own skin. This is why a deeper bond/connection is needed.
A solid relationship MUST begin with RESPECT.
- Respect means that you're willing to put that person’s needs above your own desires at times.
- That means, you're concerned about your partner’s physical and emotional health.
- You are willing and eager to go out of your way to treat your partner better than you would anyone else. If you notice that you're treating your friends and co-workers better than you do your own spouse, then something seriously wrong.
Without respect the relationship will dissolve.
If respect and consideration is something you haven’t yet cultivated in your own relationship, you may have difficulties incorporating this concept into daily living. If you're dedicated, willing to be patient and make continued effort, you'll see a difference in your relationship. Even if your partner is not reciprocating this treat, BEGIN, you can be the change you seek in the world, and consciously treat your your partner with respect and kindness, eventually RESPECTFUL treatment will become a habit.
You must be the first one to begin this process, even if your partner doesn't treat you in this manner. Hopefully over time, he/she will come around and reciprocate the respect back to you and you'll finally have admiration for one another again.
Aim to treat your partner as your special friend especially with whom you share your hopes, dreams, doubts, and fears etc. You can absolutely still have other friends to share with which is important, valuable and healthy. But, if you really need a special friend wouldn't you want to try to find this with your spouse, also? This is the person you vowed to spend your life with. This is the person who has seen you at your best and at your worst.
If you feel you must turn to someone else and never find a confidante in your spouse, then something must be missing. Before you reach out to communicate with your best friend, reach out and speak with your spouse about what is on your mind.
Share your innermost thoughts and feelings with him or her. You may be pleasantly surprised at how much closer you'll feel to each other.
Lastly, it is healthy to have interests separate and apart from your partner. This is one reason that makes you interesting to your partner. Find some activities and interests that you can share together and also continue some activities that are uniquely you.
If you're not sure what those activities might be, think back to when you first began dating. What did you do together? What were the interests that you shared? Even if you aren’t in the position to do all of those activities, now, you still may be able to recreate some of the old fireworks simply by reminiscing together. You can keep the intimacy in your relationship, and you can awaken the closeness you once shared. It may take time and effort, but you will both be happier because you made the effort to make it happen in your life and relationship.
Nada Adams is a Business Intuitive who brings razor sharp Clarity to empower clients in Maximizing Success & Fulfilling Goals with Peace and Balance.
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