Q: How to Set GOOD Boundaries - Part 1

"Get over the disease to please.

Understand you cannot please everyone.

Being able to disappoint others is crucial to reclaiming your life."

~ Oprah Winfrey

The most LOVING & Self Respectful ACT you can do is set clear personal boundaries. This will clearly teach everyone around you - exactly how you need and want to be treated!

The BEST way to improve the Quality of your life is to learn how to SET Good Boundaries.

A simple definition: BOUNDARIES ~ ARE RULES YOU HAVE FOR OTHER PEOPLE; vs. Standards ~ rules you have for yourself.

Keep in mind, establishing good Boundaries takes TIME and setting good boundaries with your loved ones can feel very uncomfortable in the beginning. So be patient in this process - slow and steady will definitely win the race here!

The purpose of having Healthy Boundaries? They foster healthy relationships with yourself and others ~ benefits include:

• being authentic with integrity,
• being honest with others,
• improved communication skills &
• feeling less victimized and resentful.

What's the biggest benefit? By far the biggest benefit is your ability to SAY NO to anyone who consumes or drains your time repeatedly. By saying 'no' you will FREE yourself and your time to focus on what deem most valuable to you.

Did you know? Assertiveness increases your ability to say 'no'. The more you practice saying 'no' the stronger you will feel and your self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth will greatly soar...

Among the sexes, women find setting boundaries the most challenging. Why? They tend to be natural caregivers and nurturers and rarely refuse anyone's request for help.

Examine the 4 areas of Personal boundaries:

1. Personal Physical - ie, personal space, your body and sexuality
2. Personal Mental - ie. your feelings & thoughts
3. Personal Emotional - ie. your relationships, choices & responsibilies
4. Personal Spiritual - ie, your sense of purpose

Common AREAS needing Healthy boundaries:

• at home with: children, spouse, parents etc
• at the office with: colleagues, customers, managers, bosses, strangers
• in the community: with friends, extended family, in-laws, peers

Check out the following checklist:
DO...

1. You give in to avoid conflict
2. You're overwhelmed with too much to do in life
3. You say 'yes' when you really mean 'no'
4. You struggle with being assertive
5. You feel emotionally, physically and spiritually drained
6. You help others and then feel bitter and resentful
7. Most common, you suffer from the DISEASE TO PLEASE OTHERS

If you answered 'yes' to anyone of these, don't worry! Setting boundaries is a process that takes lots of patience and effort...be kind to yourself and let's begin with your first assignment.

Your Action this week:

1. Write an list of all the individuals in your life where you feel some tension between them and beside each person: list specific actions they do that makes you feel they're encroaching on your boundaries? Use examples list outlined in red above...these are individuals with whom you feel taken advantage of or you have suppressed anger and resentment towards.
   
   
2. Second, next to each action...what motivates you to sacrific your time and energy for each person? ie. I like to please, i can't say 'no', I hate conflict, I love to feel needed, etc..

Nada Adams, a Success-RESULTS Coach, Empowers Parent-Entrepreneurs to live Authentically with Integrity by providing Powerful Intuitive Customized Solutions to create more balance, more well-being and more wealth! Experience NO-BS intuitive coaching today!

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