Your Biz: The Art of Saying "NO" Effectively!

As a coach I am always on the lookout for ways people sabotage their own success.

There is one DESTRUCTIVE habit that many are plagued with regardless of age or background. The habit of saying 'yes' when they should be saying "no".
As a result, these people:

1. Feel victimized, resentful and angry at themselves and others.
2. Damage their self-esteem greatly and
3. Waste their valuable Power (Time, Money and Energy) .

What about you? How often do you say "yes" to a client when you really mean "no"? If you struggle in this area, this article is for you.

Let's discuss why it feels SO difficult to turn people down...

The 1st Key Factor is most people have an enormous fear of rejection. They want everyone to like them, and by saying "yes" they ensure others do. However, saying "yes" when you mean "no" is a major form of selling yourself out. You are denying your authenticity from shining through and you're no longer leading by example. Don't fall into the trap of the ego-self saying, 'that's ok, it's worth doing whatever it takes as long as people like you!

The 2nd Key Factor is most people have a great fear of confrontation. At some point in your life you learned when people get upset or angry they are dangerous; so you avoid confrontation at all costs.

Keep in mind: Speaking YOUR truth is absolutely CRUCIAL for

• Reaching High levels of Leadership!
• Having Integrity, Passion & Purpose.
• Developing High Self-confidence, Self-Respect and Self-Esteem.
• Making Money and Adding value in the Market Place!

Here are some ways to say "no" effectively:

1. Be clear and firm about your decision. You're more than half there, when you've reached a decision to say "no". Your clarity will help you follow through and you'll communicate your message clearly to the other person.

2. Begin by acknowledging, thanking, or saying something positive to the inviter/invitation - make sure it's something sincere - Eg.“Thank you for thinking of me…"

3. Communicate your decision immediately. Avoid the temptation to say: "I'll get back to you" when you already know you want to say "no."

4. Make the reason for declining about YOU, not about the opportunity or other person. Eg. you could say - you already have maxed out your commitments to charities this year, or you've promised yourself you don' t lend money to friends; or you've promised your family that you would not take on any new projects that interfere with family time. By making the rejection about you, this reduces the likelihood of the other person taking the "rejection" personally....and who can disagree with you when you're time is maxed!

5. Speak your truth, even if you feel scared or intimidated. Strangely enought, it's better to say "no" and have a blow up than it is to be out of integrity by lying. Don't waste your energy worrying about handling the situation perfectly - just do it!

6. No apology needed; no need to defend your decision.

I invite you right now, to identify 1 place you are saying "yes" when you mean "no." You dont wnat to be filling your time with clients who drain your energy, so be willing to make room in your business for quality clientts to come in.

Begin by deciding to be true to yourself. If you're afraid, that's ok and normal, just continue to feel what you need to and still take the steps mentioned above to get back on track! I know you can do this - it's as easy as CHOOSING!

Your Coach,
Nada

Nada Adams, 360 RESULTS Coach provides Holistic Financial Planning. She teaches Entrepreneurs how to live authentically with integrity to create more balance, more health and more wealth! Experience her NO-BS intuitive coaching that's Direct & Straightforward! Sign up today at www.vipresultscoaching.com.
For more Business Strategies checkout http://www.vipcoachclub.com/

© Copyright 2008, Nada Adams and VIP R.E.$.U.L.T.S. Coaching Ltd.

Q: Setting Boundaries Part 4 - Saying 'NO'

'No' - a tiny word that packs quite the punch and is feared by most people...why? Because without learning how to say 'no' again, you will NOT achieve healthy boundaries.



Why do most of us resist using this tiny word? For the most part - we are avoiding the feelings of 'Guilt.'


Next time before you answer 'yes' - I suggest you ask yourself the following question: "Why am I saying 'yes' to this question?" Is it to genuinely help out, needing to look good or am I repeating my old patters that cause me stress?



By saying 'no' - all your past programming will surface - just notice what your mind and feelings start telling you:

• How could you not be generous and say yes?


• How selfish of you (Guilt)


• Now what is that person thinking of you?


• Now you can be more useful and important by doing this?


• What to go for being rude and impolite

Here are 10 Tips for saying 'no':

1. Make cue cards with your potential answers &
   Practice daily verbally saying your 'no' script


2. Keep the cue card handy where you usually need to say 'no'.
   ie. beside your phone at work and at home.


3. Take time to respond - eg. "Let me check my calendar first and get back to you."


4. Make the answer of 'no' about you and not their cause or question. eg. "Thanks for your offer and I really need ot say 'no' for me."


5. Create a policy statement (makes you sound official): If businesses do, why no you?
   eg. "We have a policy to only support children's charities and our portfolio for donations is full at the moment."


6. Honor your priorities and put your foot down to what matters most to you. eg. "say 'no' to interruptions at dinner or having the work cell phone on after 7pm."


7. Be Brief: No need to give a full detail explanation as to why you need to say no. Simply say 'no thank you' and continue being in your power by managing the voices inside your head by saying mentally, "No is my right to say and exercise."


8. Build your 'no' muscle: Develop the habit of saying 'no' every day to smaler requests so that you get the necessary practice to grow your 'no' muscle to say 'no' to bigger requests. Remember buy time, if you're not strong enough yet.


9. Use other mediums: If you don't have the strength at first to say 'no' verbally, say it using a different medium - ie. email, letter or voice/text message. Remember to keep this brief too.


10. Manage your mind frick: when we exercise our right to say 'no', our minds may send us guilty messages from old habits. Simply reply mentally, 'Thank you for sharing. This is for the best. My rights are important and need honoring too."

If you practice all of these steps, you will experience a new level of self esteem and self confidence and people will respect you more - guaranteed! Even if they are disappointed by your answer of 'no' - you will still have their respect for speaking your truth!

Nada Adams, a Success-RESULTS Coach, Empowers Parent-Entrepreneurs to live Authentically with Integrity by using Powerful Intuitive Customized Solutions to create more balance, more well-being and more wealth! Experience NO-BS intuitive 1 on 1 coaching today! For a LIMITED time ~ schedule your initial complimentary coaching call today by visiting: www.vipresultscoaching.com & Sign up for the VIP Connection "Be Authentic; Be Enough" to jump start each and every week!

© Copyright 2008, Nada Adams and VIP R.E.$.U.L.T.S. Coaching Ltd. All rights reserved.

Q: How to set GOOD Boundaries - Part 2

"Get over the disease to please.
Understand you cannot please everyone.
Being able to disappoint others is crucial to reclaiming your life." ~ Oprah Winfrey

If only we were taught as young children to set good boundaries; instead we were taught to please others. . . hmm - at least we can teach our children now IF we lead by example.

Checkout the following of Old Limiting Beliefs and Your Truths:

O: I am responsible for everyone's happiness
T: Being overly responsible for others is actually manipulative and disabling.

O: I'm selfish & self centered to think about me all the time.
T: By thinking about me, I am taking care and protecting myself.

O: I'm not important.
T: I'm as important as my partner.

O: It's not safe to reveal my feelings if they disturb the other person.
T: My needs are just as important as the needs of others. I have the right share my feelings and stand up for what I need and want.

O: I'm always nice and ready to please whoever asks me for help.
T: By setting good boundaries, I am helping and teaching others to know how to treat me, so they'll know what I will and will not allow. I am taking care of myself and I'm the one responsible for my integrity and the health of all my relationships.

O: It's important what people think of me; always obey authority.
T: Others learn to trust me when I set good boundaries. My integrity is noticed and respected and that is much more important than being liked.

The need for constant approval from others will deprive you of your self-respect and self-esteem therefore, causing you to be in a lose/lose scenario.

If you've developed a habit to continually cave-in (becoming a door mat) with your children, spouse/partner or friends so they'll love you more, well...the opposite will actually occur.

In time, those loved ones will not love you more but rather STOP TRUSTING YOU and you'll complain of being filled with self-directed anger and resentment.

You can't give what you don't have. . . You are MORE VALUABLE to your loved ones, when you love yourself!

Assignment:
Q: Have you ever done something out of fear and old limiting beliefs, said 'yes' to someone when you really meant 'no' and then resented the whole thing?

What would happen, to the person you were dishonest with if they found out you were resentful helping them out?

Do your actions of being so called 'nice' increase or decrease the trust in this relationship?

If you answered YES to the initial question, imagine what a different positive outcome could have been had you spoken your truth keeping your integrity?

Nada Adams, a Success-RESULTS Coach, Empowers Parent-Entrepreneurs to live Authentically with Integrity by using Powerful Intuitive Customized Solutions to create more balance, more well-being and more wealth! Experience NO-BS intuitive coaching today!
For a LIMITED time ~ schedule your initial complimentary coaching call today by visiting: www.vipresultscoaching.com & Sign up for the VIP Connection "Be Authentic; Be Enough" to jump start each and every week!

© Copyright 2008, Nada Adams and VIP R.E.$.U.L.T.S. Coaching Ltd. All rights reserved.