"Get over the disease to please.
Understand you cannot please everyone.
Being able to disappoint others is crucial to reclaiming your life." ~ Oprah Winfrey
If only we were taught as young children to set good boundaries; instead we were taught to please others. . . hmm - at least we can teach our children now IF we lead by example.
Checkout the following of Old Limiting Beliefs and Your Truths:
Checkout the following of Old Limiting Beliefs and Your Truths:
O: I am responsible for everyone's happiness
T: Being overly responsible for others is actually manipulative and disabling.
O: I'm selfish & self centered to think about me all the time.
T: By thinking about me, I am taking care and protecting myself.
O: I'm not important.
T: I'm as important as my partner.
O: It's not safe to reveal my feelings if they disturb the other person.
T: My needs are just as important as the needs of others. I have the right share my feelings and stand up for what I need and want.
O: I'm always nice and ready to please whoever asks me for help.
T: By setting good boundaries, I am helping and teaching others to know how to treat me, so they'll know what I will and will not allow. I am taking care of myself and I'm the one responsible for my integrity and the health of all my relationships.
O: It's important what people think of me; always obey authority.
T: Others learn to trust me when I set good boundaries. My integrity is noticed and respected and that is much more important than being liked.
The need for constant approval from others will deprive you of your self-respect and self-esteem therefore, causing you to be in a lose/lose scenario.
If you've developed a habit to continually cave-in (becoming a door mat) with your children, spouse/partner or friends so they'll love you more, well...the opposite will actually occur.
In time, those loved ones will not love you more but rather STOP TRUSTING YOU and you'll complain of being filled with self-directed anger and resentment.
You can't give what you don't have. . . You are MORE VALUABLE to your loved ones, when you love yourself!
Assignment:
Q: Have you ever done something out of fear and old limiting beliefs, said 'yes' to someone when you really meant 'no' and then resented the whole thing?
What would happen, to the person you were dishonest with if they found out you were resentful helping them out?
Do your actions of being so called 'nice' increase or decrease the trust in this relationship?
If you answered YES to the initial question, imagine what a different positive outcome could have been had you spoken your truth keeping your integrity?
Assignment:
Q: Have you ever done something out of fear and old limiting beliefs, said 'yes' to someone when you really meant 'no' and then resented the whole thing?
What would happen, to the person you were dishonest with if they found out you were resentful helping them out?
Do your actions of being so called 'nice' increase or decrease the trust in this relationship?
If you answered YES to the initial question, imagine what a different positive outcome could have been had you spoken your truth keeping your integrity?
Nada Adams, a Success-RESULTS Coach, Empowers Parent-Entrepreneurs to live Authentically with Integrity by using Powerful Intuitive Customized Solutions to create more balance, more well-being and more wealth! Experience NO-BS intuitive coaching today!
For a LIMITED time ~ schedule your initial complimentary coaching call today by visiting: www.vipresultscoaching.com & Sign up for the VIP Connection "Be Authentic; Be Enough" to jump start each and every week!
© Copyright 2008, Nada Adams and VIP R.E.$.U.L.T.S. Coaching Ltd. All rights reserved.
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