Q #6c - Stressful Relationships...

6c. Stressful Relationships...


Man is a social animal. Everybody needs supportive relationships to get through challenging times. But sometimes the people we love the most can cause us the highest levels of stress. If your partner, family or children are getting you down, here is something for you.


Know your limits
People under stress often find it difficult to differentiate between their 'sphere of command' and their ' sphere of apprehension'. In a car, for example, our 'sphere of command' is our ability to maneuver our car skillfully on a busy road; our ' sphere of apprehension ', on the other hand, might include the worries we might feel if stuck in a traffic jam. We have no command, however, over the latter; the only thing that we can alter is our response to it.


Relationships are the same. We might be 'apprehensive' about our partner, but at the end of the day 'our sphere of command' remains our own behavior. Thinking that we can control a loved one is merely a source of stress.


Leading an aimless life
If you don't know what you want from life, you're more likely to follow those directions that you feel are wrong. To ascertain what really matters to you, write down on a piece of paper all the important ingredients in your life (work, relationships, children, hobbies, dreams, etc.), and then rank them in order from the most to the least important.Once you have properly assessed your values, you will find it much easier to prioritize when conflict arises.


Stop comparing
One of the most stressful habits of modern life is our tendency constantly to compare ourselves to others. But you must remember that even though other families or couples or individuals may look happier, richer or more fulfilled, you will never know what really happens behind closed doors. Trying to compete, or letting others make you feel inferior, stops you concentrating on your own unique talents and goals.


Know when to say ‘NO’
The most difficult in a relationship is to say 'no' to somebody you love. However, if you don't learn to refuse, at least some of the time, you run the risk of becoming overloaded and enraged. It's better to spend some time to consider which requests you are happy to fulfill and which you are not. If you clearly draw the line and show your family members as to what you can fulfill and what not, it helps you avoid getting stressed.


Communicate
Good communication is the key to stress-free relationships. Letting your partner know when you are under pressure, rather than expecting them to guess, can help the whole family plan ahead to lighten the load. Allotting ten minutes each evening for you and your partner to share your experiences of the day and explain its stresses will strengthen your bond and increase the chances of you both feeling understood.


Blame Game
Blame is one of the most baneful habits in relationships. Blaming someone for your mistake creates lot of stress in you. It's natural to argue - and it can be useful to clear the air and update how we feel - but it is essential to learn to forgive. Otherwise, the pain from one day transfers to the next.


If you find it hard to stop blaming your partner, why not try and reframe the dispute and ask yourself, 'What part of the argument is my fault?' Ultimately, we have to take responsibility for our own feelings.


Learn to accept the changes
When your child grows up and learns to handle things independently, learn to accept the changes. Give them the freedom. Do not try to take refuge at home and cling to all that is familiar. We want our partner to remain the same; we don't want our children to grow up and leave home. But unless a relationship changes and grows it will begin to languish, and the great irony is that the more we struggle to keep things the same, the greater the pain we experience. Try to see change at home as an opportunity rather than a threat.


6d. Financial Stress...(read tomorrow's posting)


Next Issue (July 15th)


Nada Adams is a Business Intuitive who brings razor sharp Clarity to empower clients in Maximizing Success & Fulfilling Goals with Peace and Balance.

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